Guest Post | How to Pickle Like a Pro | Lucy Bullock

Today we have a guest post from one of our great friends Lucy, who is a pro at pickling and canning. Enjoy! 

What would Winter be without Summer’s bounty neatly, beautifully and deliciously packed into mason jars? Nothing. So with that I bring you Bullock’s Famous Dilly Beans and Pickles. (And carrots and okra…and watermelon rinds…anything!)

Afraid of canning? Don’t be. You should be more afraid of not having enough canned things in preparation for the imminent Zombie Apocalypse. The only thing you need to worry about is a recipe for whatever you want to can. Once you learn how to pickle you are a canning God or Goddess.

You will need:

2 pounds of veggies
4 cups White vinegar
4  cups Water
½ cup Pickling Salt – (Kosher salt with nothing else in it is fine – Ina Garten told me so)
Red pepper flakes
Whole pepper corns
Whole Dill seed
Whole Mustard Seed
Fresh Dill (two bunches)
Two heads of garlic
6 quart pot  filled with water (enough for the jars to be covered – Important)
1 teflon/non stick pot (if you don’t the brine will be cloudy and dumb)
Small pot to sanitize lids and rings
3 Sanitized quart jars  (or more just do the math about it)

1) You can sanitize your jars in your dishwasher on the sanitize cycle, boiling them in hot water until ready to pack the jars, or do as I did and use your boyfriends left over b-brite which is a bio-degradable sanitizer mostly for beer brewing. Worked just fine and I used hot water to rinse, so they were squeaky clean.

2) While sanitizing or during prep, boil the 6 quart pot of water. Bring to a rolling boil. You will need this to be rolling when you are ready to put the lids and rings on in order to “process” the cans.

3) Combine your cups of water, vinegar, red pepper flakes, pepper corns, salt, a couple sprigs of fresh dill, and mustard seeds in the Teflon pot and bring to a boil then turn down.

4) Trim your beans, cut your carrots, quarter your cukes or whatever you want to try to pickle! Peel, smash and put 3 (or more) cloves of Garlic in the bottle of the jars. Put as much dill as you want I put like 6 or 7 sprigs in each quart jar.  Eyeball some mustard seed and Dill seed to put into the jars too.

5) Stuff your jars to the brim with the veg. Shove as many as you can because they will shrink as you embark on your way to pickle pandemonium!

6) Pour your pickle juice over the veggies, make sure to leave about an inch from the top. Take your lids and rings out one at a time and put them on top. Screw the rings on tightly and put them in the rolling boil water pot! Process for five minutes or more depending on your elevation (higher = longer time, google it I’m no doctor). Make sure you don’t process for too long because then your cukes will be mushy and therefore you will fail the Zombie Apocalypse. Don’t be one of them.

7) Check to see if your pop top lids are sealed and not popping. You know how the FDA tells you not to buy anything that looks tampered with? Same goes here – dis r Sirius biznus.

8) Be careful with the hot jars, put them on a towel and place in a cooler and darker place to perfectly pickle for at least three days or until the Zombie Apocalypse is upon us (i.e. soon).

That’s all – Now go make some new friends (because you need to expand your circle with people who have various skills as to win the Zombie Apocalypse) and wow them with your ill pickling skillz. Tell them they’re better than their mothers, but be careful because people can be violent when it comes to pickles. Wars have been started.

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11 Responses to Guest Post | How to Pickle Like a Pro | Lucy Bullock

  1. This is a helpful post as I am totally afraid of canning!

  2. dan says:

    I’m good at foraging and cooking in the wild and I’ve been watching The Walking Dead so I have learned a few tips and tricks.

    Can I be part of the team? Where are we all meeting when the cell phones go down.

    Make sure you bring a bike.

  3. Lucy says:

    Great Questions Dan,

    We have to revise the plan as I moved out of the rendezvous point – Do you wield any weaponry skillz? Also want do you have to contribute to the canning stock pile? Update Meeting TBA.

    Meghan – canning is fun and very very easy – pickling is probably most steps than say making jam. So if you aren’t intimidated by this post then you are a great candidate for canning Queen.

  4. Tom says:

    HEY Lucy, two things, 1. i just ate a sandwich with your jam on it. 2. i have the location of the rendezvous point. but i liked your post a bunch, and we should have a pickling party soon.
    From,
    Tom

  5. Tom says:

    Also have you ever done fermented pickles idk if i asked you, but if you had i need to learn that

    • Lucy says:

      Totally read a ton about fermented pickles, it seems even easier than this method. Which, serious pill hipsters call “Industrial.” Only because there is a processing of the jars. But in reality the hipsters can suck on it because their fermented pickles usually only last two years, where as these can last (when properly stored) for way way longer than that.

      But I haven’t tried it. Maybe we should try it with a pickle party. Soon?

      Yeah baby that Jam rules. We just used your mustard to make a mashed potato salad for the Phish watching party tonight we’re going to.

      Tom. I miss you.

  6. Stephanie says:

    I have been wanting to learn to pickle for a long time and this just made my life really easy. Thank you a million Lucy!

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  9. T says:

    I didn’t read that the pot of boiling water that the jars are processed in must have a shallow rack in it- I may have missed it, but it is necessary so the jars don’t explode.

  10. Pingback: Slow Strawberry Rhubarb Preserve | Strawberry Season Part III | Left Turn New England

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